Cover 1:
Okay, let's be honest, we laughed. A lot. Uncontrollably. And there was tears too. Okay so she is a motorbike. Va-va-voom anyone? This was quite possibly the most bewildering thing that Lady GaGa had done yet. Then came the "Is she betraying us like Judas..." twaddle. Yes, we got quite caught up in it, and blimey, if it was true, she would be at Stephan Hawking level IQ but it was again complete twaddle. And the word art at the top? This is quite possibly the most ridiculous cover ever. HOWEVER, it is actually genius. GaGa stated the following, "I am a vehicle for my fans to feel like superstars." So as the world was looking for some far off metaphor to explain it, the explanation is staring at you in the face. Then, just like the Judas artwork, she gave the two fingers to the sexy, conventional cover. (That means you Britney, Rihanna, Katy Perry, Ke$ha - actually, just ignore Ke$ha, not showering is not sexy. - ) So, genius you ask? Yes. Genius.
Okay, this is just a cropped version of cover 1 above. Well we think visually, this one is a hell of a lot better but then we thought the following: the cover for the normal edition is ugly (yet genius) so what would you rather have? The first or second? Obviously the second! But it just so happens that the second cover is more expensive, in some retailers by £7. Yes, this could be scam of the year by GaGa, PROVING THAT THE WOMAN IS A GENIUS (again.)
Singles:
Born This Way
Well as soon as we knew that the album was called Born This Way and she sang the snippet well, we knew this was going to be very good. VERY, VERY GOOD. But little did we know that it would amazing. And the Criticizing Pop's favorite bit? THAT COW BELL. Who doesn't like a cow bell? So if we were to rate this bad boy? Well 9/10.
Well as soon as we knew that the album was called Born This Way and she sang the snippet well, we knew this was going to be very good. VERY, VERY GOOD. But little did we know that it would amazing. And the Criticizing Pop's favorite bit? THAT COW BELL. Who doesn't like a cow bell? So if we were to rate this bad boy? Well 9/10.
PS. Express Yourself? Please, that was shit even in the 1980's.
Judas
We love Judas. A lot. But in saying that, we also hate it with a passion. That chorus destroys what would have been a superb song. That introduction maybe might have been a bit too Bad Romance for us but then the "JUDAS JUDA-AH-AH." Starts and who are we not to obsess over vowel sounds. The verses make a nice change from the traditional song, with those ludicrous but none the less hot vocals. And the chorus begins after the wolf cry. It is awful. THAT IS THE DEFINITION OF ANTI CLIMAX. Regardless, the tribal-techno instrumental breakdown redeems the song while expanding our vocabulary... (What is a prostitute by the way) Joking. Generally a step up in instrumental breakdowns and verses but a crapy chorus. 8/10.
PS. Suck on that Madonna fans.
The Videos:
Born This Way
This bitch obviously copied the average Criticizing Pop weekend; aliens, goats, pregnancy, guns, orgy's and unicorns? That aside, this was the most visually impressive video Lady GaGa has ever made. However, in the case of GaGa, simple does not work. Since when do you win a MTV VMA for something simple? Yes Beyonce did but we are sure Kanye West was bitching back stage too for that... 
The first two minutes would have made the best concert interlude ever and was pretty damn good in a music video but as soon as the music video started? Jees, have you not Alejandro'ed yourself out? We want drugs, murder and product placement, not the bloody birth canal. Yes I have essentially slagged this off but remember, our expectations for Lady GaGa are not the same for the others in this industry. 9/10 for the first 2 minutes.
5/10 for the rest.
7/10 overall.
At least 2 marks for "the rest" where gained from the following:
Judas
The motorcycles, the dancing, the outfits, the SHOES. I love this video. It's like a modern take on he crucification of Jesus, with all of the disciples, but with motorcycles and dresses by Christian Lacroix. (This 'ain't no Katy Perry video, let me tell 'ya!)
It starts with GaGa on the back of Jesus' motorcycle and Judas alongside it. She looks at him with desire and lust.
The dance routine is amazing; energetic and fresh. I love the fact that she has crucifixes on her bra. (Kinky.)
It then goes to a 'bar' scene I suppose it could be called, but what is the place called? THE ELECTRIC CHAPEL. <3 Here she is dancing again, with a bandana on her head (might try and find mine again) and she's making love hearts with her hands. (BLESS 'ER WE SOUL.)
She and Jesus are walking through the street and her hand movements make her look like a gangster. LOVE IT. And then she taps Peter on the shoulder, he betrayed Jesus 3 times? "even after 3 times he betrays me". Smart girl this GaGa one. (Light bulb moment, liek.)
The instrumental breakdown is portrayed by more street dancing and THE LIPSTICK GUN! This is so cool. It's the mark of Judas' betrayal and she then crumples to her knees. I also love her velvet one piece, moss green too. Then comes the wave, Gaga is standing with her arms out stretched, like Jesus on the cross whilst the wave sweeps her away. (EW.)
She is also washing Jesus and Judas' feet in a stone bath, very symbolic, eg. the prostitute washing Jesus' feet at the pharisees' house. ('Dat ass bitches!) She then begs Jesus for forgiveness at his feet whilst singing "I'm still in love with Judas baby". (Personally, we at CP don't like feet but whatever floats your boat GaGa...)
I may say that this is symbolic, but remember, she did not mean this as an attack on religion or on the church either, as she is very spiritual herself. (Okay, I have edited this and put in a ridiculous amount of brackets...)
Then comes the ending and the scene which fashion critics would die at: GAGA WEARING CHANEL AND CHRISTIAN LACROIX IN THE SAME OUTFIT. She is being stoned by some of the disciples and 'townspeople' you could say. (Fecking' townspeople.)She is there dead on the ground. (We would still do her, dead or alive.)
Nice brogues.
9/10
9/10
PS. Remember GaGa, using religion as entertainment is as cheap as a comedian telling a fart joke. Love and jealousy, Katy Perry
The Promotional Singles
The Edge of Glory
We love this song. It is miles better than Judas which is pretty horrendous on the Lady-GaGa-Song-Scale. (We still love it though.) So, this song has a pretty "boppy" exterior, however, it is pretty sad. We just know that it will be one of those songs that make her cry when she sings it live. It is not too quick, nor is it slow. It is simple and not over produced. That is all that is really required for this song. If it had a bridge with lyrics, we would have given it 10/10.
9/10 and beautiful.
Hair
The Edge of Glory
9/10 and beautiful.
Hair
Roberto – What do you think about Hair?
Becky – Love it! It's exactly what I expected and wanted :)
Roberto – To be honest, my locks aren't feeling it. It is too slow to whip to and it sounds like Taylor Swift on acid.
Becky – Taylor Swift on acid, nice!
Roberto – But maintaining her dignity. Otherwise, that would be Ke$ha. Don't get me wrong, I like it but it is not bass-y enough. I need thumping techno, not something I can milk sheep to.
Becky – Very true. I hate quiche
Roberto – The egg in it isn't so nice.
Becky – It's a tad rotten
Roberto – True. I don't like eggs. I used to think they were dead chickens though. AWKWARD.
Becky – That is very awkward!
Roberto – Fecking' eggs.
Becky – Bloody hate them.
Roberto – Oh you, back to Hair.
Becky – I adore it now.
Roberto – It's growing on me. I really like the second half but the start is far too nice. I want filth, not nice!
Becky – I like both, haha.
Roberto – Initial rating of Hair?
Becky – 8/10
Roberto – I’d give it 7/10. Now, let’s play a game.
Becky – Okay!
Roberto – What Madonna song can we compare Hair to?
Roberto – To be honest, my locks aren't feeling it. It is too slow to whip to and it sounds like Taylor Swift on acid.
Becky – Taylor Swift on acid, nice!
Roberto – But maintaining her dignity. Otherwise, that would be Ke$ha. Don't get me wrong, I like it but it is not bass-y enough. I need thumping techno, not something I can milk sheep to.
Becky – Very true. I hate quiche
Roberto – The egg in it isn't so nice.
Becky – It's a tad rotten
Roberto – True. I don't like eggs. I used to think they were dead chickens though. AWKWARD.
Becky – That is very awkward!
Roberto – Fecking' eggs.
Becky – Bloody hate them.
Roberto – Oh you, back to Hair.
Becky – I adore it now.
Roberto – It's growing on me. I really like the second half but the start is far too nice. I want filth, not nice!
Becky – I like both, haha.
Roberto – Initial rating of Hair?
Becky – 8/10
Roberto – I’d give it 7/10. Now, let’s play a game.
Becky – Okay!
Roberto – What Madonna song can we compare Hair to?
Upon listening again, we both agreed to rate Hair as 8/10.
Here are some videos to get you excited about the Born This Way era! Thanks for reading!
BRH - CP.
YAY.
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